Tom is a husband, father, novelist, opinion writer, and former Navy Corpsman currently living in Georgia. He's also someone who has lost almost 60 pounds in a safe, sustainable way, so he knows what he's talking about.
Over the weekend, I talked a bit about “tribes” and why tribes aren’t such a bad thing. Now, I’d like to float my own idea for an intentional tribe, or a community. Whatever term you use is irrelevant. What matters is that it’s a group of people who bind themselves together under a set of principles.
One of the things Game practitioners supposedly did back in the early days was look at the things women responded to. For example, characters in romance novels. They argued, and on this I’m in agreement, that what women wanted in their escapism is indicative of what they want in their lives.
Hey, I read about spaceships and dragons in my escapism, and those would be awesome in real life, so I agree.
Well, as a novelist myself, I was on Amazon looking for books that have MMA as a central theme. I had an idea for a story that used it, and I wanted to see how other authors handled the detailed and technical aspects of fighting.
The idea of who is and isn’t a man may well be one of the greatest challenges facing the males of the human species. These days, real men can be anything. A real man supposedly cries at kitten videos and is a kind, gentle soul who wouldn’t hurt a fly or something.
Oddly enough, traditionally masculine activities are often portrayed as being the purview of guys who aren’t real men but want to pretend. Hunting, shooting, fighting, etc are all constantly being described as the playground of either those trying to overcompensate for something or as having some kind of homoerotic subtext that no one actually involved in the activity can sense.
While doing research for both this site and another project I have in the works, I’ve noticed something, and I’m not sure just how I feel about it. That is how so many sites ostensibly about masculinity and men’s issues spend an inordinate amount of time kvetching about feminists.
Make no mistake, I’m no fan of modern, third-wave feminism. Yes, women should be treated equally, but that’s not what this version of feminism is really about based on my readings.
However, many guys spend so much time complaining about feminism that they forget they’re supposed to be talking about men.
Frankly, I don’t really care. When feminists attack masculinity, men in general, or something important to us, I’ll respond. Other than that, maybe a passing mention because I despise their ideas of masculinity. I’m just not that interested in their opinions. Continue reading “Let’s Just Be Men”
This is the third part of a new series on the role of men in a family unit, regardless of what forms that family takes. These are based on the historical role of men from early tribal, hunter-gatherer societies and are still pertinent in this advanced day and age. Read Part 1, Read Part 2.
First, let me apologize for taking so long on this one. The truth is, I needed some time to wrap my head around the role of man as the provider in this day and age.
Once upon a time, man served as provider because he was the hunter. He ranged far and wide and brought back the all-important meat. While the woman would gather greens and seeds, meat was the most vital part of the diet because it was so difficult to come by at the time.
This is the second of a new series on the role of men in a family unit, regardless of what forms that family takes. These are based on the historical role of men from early tribal, hunter-gatherer societies and are still pertinent in this advanced day and age. Read Part 1.
Our current society has pushed many men into doing far more as part of their family than their fathers ever did. Men have evolved into primary caregivers for their young children as well as cooking and cleaning around the house.
However, one of the traditional roles of the father is that of teacher. This role has seemingly been invalidated by society as a whole, and just looking around, we can see the results.
People tend to think of the education of a child as taking place in school. That’s where we send them to learn about mathematics, geography, art, music, and literature among other things. That is where they go to learn, so that’s where they’re educated.
This is the start of a new series on the role of men in a family unit, regardless of what forms that family takes. These are based on the historical role of men from early tribal, hunter-gatherer societies and are still pertinent in this advanced day and age.
Throughout history, men have filled certain roles in society. They’ve filled those roles because, for whatever reason, they’re ideally adapted for them. Whether they evolved to fill them, or whether they filled them because of their evolution, we’ll never know.
One of the key roles of men is that of the protector.
Men since the dawn of time have taken on the mantel of protector, and they have been adored because of it. The hunters, the warriors, all the way to the members of our armed forces and law enforcement and fire departments today. Men generally have an innate sense of obligation to protect people.
Feminists will argue that women can do these jobs just as well as the men. They point to a number of women doing these very jobs as proof that men are no longer needed to serve as protectors.
Yesterday, I discussed the concept of “toxic masculinity” and how it serves feminists by allowing them to dismiss traditional masculine values. However, that begs the question of what is “masculine”?
Feminists decry so-called “toxic masculinity” because, they c
laim, it actually hurts men as well as women. Even if you remove any components that call for a return to traditional family units that require women to return to the homes and to childrearing as their primary activities, they argue, toxic masculinity will still be evil because of the impact it has on men.
Recently, the subject of “toxic masculinity” came up and I thought I’d write something about it.
For those who are unfamiliar with the term, “toxic masculinity” is a term used in feminist circles used to describe traditional ideas of masculinity. In particular, it exists to discourage men from urging other males from embracing such ideas as traditional masculinity.
But what is the term really used for?
Modern feminism has long since pulled away from its roots of calling for equal treatment from society. Today, it appears that what modern feminism really wants is an inversion of gender roles from decades ago.
One feminist wiki states, “It refers to the socially-constructed attitudes that describe the masculine gender role as violent, unemotional, sexually aggressive, and so forth.”