I’ve been stuck. You see, I’ve been working at what weight loss for a while. I’m still brand, spanking new at HEMA. I’m in a weird place right now where I’m all, “What the hell am I supposed to write?”
It also hasn’t helped that I’ve been dealing with some personal stuff for the last several weeks on top of everything else. Plus, I needed to write here.
But, as I’ve said, I didn’t really know what to write. That’s because when your mind, body, or spirit aren’t working as they should, you’re just not productive.
The phrase “mind, body, and spirit” tends to evoke an idea, a feeling of someone sitting in a lotus position, chanting “Ommmm” with the thumbs touching their middle fingers as they meditate on life, the universe, and everything (yes, I know, 42).
Anyway, that’s what people think. I get that.
But it doesn’t have to mean that, especially when you remember that those are three separate things that are also three connected things.
Your mind is a powerful thing, but it can only do so much. It can’t necessarily overcome paralysis, for example. Your body is the same way, it’s a great mechanism for accomplishing tasks, but it has limits.
Spirit, however, is a little different. There are bound to be a thousand metaphysical arguments on what one’s spirit actually is and I’m willing to bet none of them agree with mine. To me, your spirit is the fire within you. Think of it as motivation mixed with a fair bit of general attitude.
When these three things are working along with one another, all is well with the world. You’re ready to roll and can deal with things as they come up. You can take almost anything the universe can dish out.
However, when they’re not, things are very different. You’re not on top of your game. You’re not functioning properly. You’re unproductive.
For me, that’s kind of where I’ve been. I’ve been feeling productive, mind you. I write for the day job, I fix food, I study up on various subjects, I accomplish a great deal from the outside looking in.
What I’m not accomplishing, though, is also important. I’m not accomplishing what I need to do here.
I’m not going to tell you how to fix it, mostly because I’ll be damned if I know. I’m trying to figure it out myself, to be honest.
Frankly, I’m fairly convinced that whatever it takes will vary from person to person and even from occasion to occasion. Sometimes, I’m not sure it’s a good idea to try and “fix” it before it’s time.
When my mother died, it was sudden and gut-wrenching. I didn’t handle it particularly well because my mother and I were tight. I went into a deep funk that I’m not entirely sure I’m out of yet. But what would have happened if I’d tried to “fix” what was wrong after a couple of weeks? I don’t know, but I’m not sure it would have been a good thing.
The thing is, you know when something needs to be fixed. Thankfully. A few weeks ago, I was depressed as hell for some idiotic reason. Then I ate some ice cream.
No, it wasn’t really good for me. No, it didn’t even fit within my macros. I just wanted some and since nothing else seemed to be going right, I figured, “What the hell.”
I woke up the next day feeling better. I knew something needed to be done and I did something.
Was it the ideal way to deal with the issue? Again, damned if I know. I just have reason to believe it worked. I won’t say I know it did, because all I have is a correlation, and correlation does not equal causation, but I suspect it worked.
I did something and I got better. It’s entirely possible that any action would have gotten me out of that funk.
It doesn’t matter.
Right now, I’m still in a funk of a different kind, and it’s an odd one. This time, I know something needs to be done, but damned if I know what it is.
Regardless, I apologize for the relative silence lately. I’ll try and resolve that somehow, some way. You don’t really care how I do it, I know, which is also cool, just know that I’m trying.
And I’ll succeed, too.