Dave Goes Barbarian: Introduction

Photo by torbakhopper

I’d like to introduce my friend, Dave Pascoe. Dave is a fiction writer and a good friend. He’s responsible for a fair bit of what you see here at By Spear and Axe, to be honest. While he didn’t write it, discussions with him do wonders to inspire posts.

Now, I’m giving him a weekly column. After all, he’s following the Way of the Barbarian. Plus, since he’s been part of the discussions for so much, he understands it very well and also knows how to not take himself far too seriously, as you’ll see below.

By Crom, and all the gods of the north, it is good to see you, Brothers. Aye, and you shieldmaidens, too, Sister. Please but the spear down: there’s already a beast a’roasting, and besides, I’d like as disagree with you all, as I’ve done before. Before we fall to brawling, however, I’d like to introduce myself to my fellow barbs who haven’t yet had the pleasure of my acquaintance.

I am Dave of Caer Dave. Mrs. Dave and I suffer for our people somewhere in the more beautiful part of the Pacific Northwest. I spent time locked in servitude to my father’s brother, the great Samuel of Deceptively Deep Pockets. Shortly before embarking on my period of indenture, a friend dragooned me into increasing physical strength and muscular endurance. This stood me in good stead during my servitude. Habits are one of our most powerful tools in pursuit of our goals. Or our most imposing challenges. More on that later.

While I served my Uncle Sam, both external discipline and internal motivation required me to maintain a level of physical preparedness (I won’t call it strength, as that was distinctly not required, to my disappointment), and so I worked to build the habits that would carry me forward. With middling success.

Upon release from indenture, I continued my efforts to increase my abilities, though I’ll be the first to admit that the Fit of the Cross has some issues with it. Our host *raises tankard* has touched on these before, and I’ll likely be doing so in our discussions to come. Much more recently, Mrs. Dave presented me with first Wee Dave, who appears to have some tankish heritage, judging by the way his peers bounce off of him on the field of battle. Not long after, we were blessed with the arrival of Wee-er Dave, who already uses her wiles to bend larger and stronger barbarians to her will.

Through this early period of caring for our growing horde while Mrs. Dave defended our freedom, cut off from many of my pursuits (it’s difficult to conquer the neighbors when deprived of sleep by the wails of the small) I lost focus. Purpose I had in plenty; drive I lacked completely. So, while our horde increased, so to did my waistline.

A break in routine gave me the opportunity to alter my habits, and last year I focused on pure strength training, using the wisdom of the great Rip. I built strength upon strength right up until the holiday season, when Mrs. Dave returned from distant lands, and our routines fell by the wayside. This year of the Lord, 2019 has proven to be a right bugger in a lot of ways, but I’ve shrunk my girth until I can again fit into kilts I have not worn in years.

Mrs. Dave again sojourns to distant lands, and it is time to train once more. Our host has graciously accepted my offer to share with you my progress. While I will once more pursue strength, I will also be moderating that training with specific conditioning efforts. The next anniversary of my nativity will be the great Four and Zero, and the prospect fills me with trepidation. I choose to use this to focus my mind and efforts, and it is my hope that the experiences I share may serve as an example to you all in your own efforts. Join me on this journey, and we shall share high adventure!

From Tom: What Dave didn’t mention is that he’s the bastard individual responsible for rekindling my interest in HEMA, so if you hate that crap, blame him. I’m also blaming him for the money I’ll be dropping going forward because of this. Granted, he’s studying the filthy German treatises, but I don’t hold that against him in the least. No one is perfect. However, I do suspect his HEMA training will be popping up here and there as well.

Author: Tom

Tom is a husband, father, novelist, opinion writer, and former Navy Corpsman currently living in Georgia. He's also someone who has lost almost 60 pounds in a safe, sustainable way, so he knows what he's talking about.

4 thoughts on “Dave Goes Barbarian: Introduction”

  1. Raucous fun, you are. I look forward to your ongoing story and will be praying for the Little’s and praise for Mrs Dave. 🔥ps. Glad to hear of your return to your kilts, may your girth continue shrinking as your strength grows.

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