Stop Complaining About Your Life, Change It

Like way too many people, I spend far more time on social media than is good for me. I pop over for a quick look and I end up being sucked into a vortex.

One thing I see a lot of, though, are people who are bitching about their life. They’re complaining about how they have a crappy job or a horrible life. They post about their failings, their lack of income, their…any number of things, and guess what?

Nothing changes.

But what do you expect when all you really do is complain?

Not all that long ago, I unfriended someone on Facebook. This is a guy who I didn’t really mind as a person, but I was sick of his near-constant panhandling on the platform. It seemed every few weeks, he was asking someone to send him some kind of money to pay for some bill or medication, all while he’d spent time the previous few weeks talking about renting movies or such.

Honestly, it got to the point where I just didn’t want to look at it anymore.

This is a person who is capable of working but would rather live off of the largess of others, then complain because he’s not getting enough largess. He offers nothing to others and has existed thus far because people have taken pity on him.

To be fair, I’ve been there. It’s why I unfriended the guy. I didn’t want to be reminded of how much it sucks to be like that.

Being poor is a simple state. It has no intrinsic value or virtue. It just is.

For most, being poor is transitory. It’s something that is happening now but will be short-term. Everyone seems to have those moments when they’re not sure how they’re going to pay rent or buy food. It happens.

The problem is when you have people that almost seem to rejoice in their poverty while, at the same time, screaming about how much it sucks.

If you don’t like it, then tell me what you’re doing to fix it. What steps are you taking to try and change the problem?

Look, I’ve been in bad spots. I spent a long time in one after my paper fell apart. During that time, I did pretty much anything I physically could so long as it was legal. Unfortunately, due to numerous factors, that wasn’t a whole lot.

But I tried not to complain to the whole world, especially when I spent a lot of time wondering if there was more I could have been doing. 

Today, I’m far from a momentous success, though my family pays all of our bills and has money left over all through my own work. I’m doing better, but I have a long way to go to be where I want to be.

The thing is, nothing I’ve achieved so far was simply a matter of luck. 

Don’t get me wrong, luck played a factor. It does for me and most anyone else. But luck also only gets you so far.

In every life, there are opportunities that drop by you. They’re not in your lap so much as falling past you slowly enough you can grab them if you want. Maybe it’s a promotion you could ask for. Maybe it’s the job you think you should apply for. Maybe it’s something else. Who knows?

But those opportunities are there. They’re there for everyone.

The problem is, they require someone to risk rejection, and for many that may be worse than their current state.

People hate to hear the word “no.” They despise it. It’s a punch to the gut and it destroys them on multiple levels. It’s so bad that many will stick with the less than ideal because they fear rejection worse.

The thing is, rejection isn’t really the worst thing in the world.

I don’t have a lot of use for pickup artists (PUAs), but one lesson you can take from them is the idea that rejection is inevitable. PUAs know that only a certain percentage of women will be inclined to fall for what they’re doing, so they plan for this. They get used to the idea of hitting on tons of women and failing an awful lot, just to get that one yes.

But how many times do you really need to hear yes? After all, just once or twice can be life-changing under the right circumstances.

Let me ask you this: If you knew you were going to get rejected 100 times for every yes you receive, but the successes were going to be game-changers, would you do it?

A lot of people would say yes, but they fail to understand that the only difference in the hypothetical I’ve presented and reality is that I can’t quantify the actual ratio.

Then again, maybe I’m wrong. Maybe there’s something else holding them back. Maybe it’s the masochistic comfort of the known, rather than the discomfort of the mysterious future. Maybe it’s something else.

Who knows?

What I do know is that if your life sucks, it may not be your fault that it does, but it’s up to you do change it. No one can make your life better except for you.

That means you have two options. One is to do nothing and pray that things improve anyway.

The other is to grab hold of what opportunities come or, if possible, build those opportunities for yourself. Do that then hold on for dear life because the world will never be the same again.

Author: Tom

Tom is a husband, father, novelist, opinion writer, and former Navy Corpsman currently living in Georgia. He's also someone who has lost almost 60 pounds in a safe, sustainable way, so he knows what he's talking about.

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