Trying To Find One’s Way

In the time that this site has existed, it’s been both a masculinity blog built in part to support a book I wrote on the subject and it’s been a blog dedicated to all aspects of personal defense.

In each case, I’ve intentionally created what the goal is to be. I’ve decided I would write on X topic and only X topic here at the site. This is the standard operating procedure for blogs. It’s what I’d done in the past to varying degrees of success and it’s what all the advice posts on starting a blog tell you to do.

Yet, in the year since I refocused this site, I’ve noticed something. I’ve noticed that I’m not talking nearly as much about some stuff as I thought I would.

Which means that I’m not actually creating the site I intended.

The question is, is that good or is that bad?

Now, this isn’t an easy post to write. I’m not on my third attempt at it, and you wouldn’t think something like this is difficult, but it is.

You see, when I relaunched everything, the idea was to help people create an overall approach to personal defense. It wasn’t just going to be about using guns or hand-to-hand fighting. It was going to be everything, from how to lose weight to gun fighting.

But along the way, a few things happened.

One was that it became very clear that I needed all the firearm-related content I could muster for my work at Bearing Arms. I get paid outright for that, and there’s always a need for content over there.

Over the last year, things shifted a bit and I recognized something. My original blog idea isn’t really what this blog is; you know, like I noted above. Instead, I’m creating something of a lifestyle blog, just one for a very particular lifestyle.

Rather than going on about vacations to Tahiti that few people will get to go on, I’m going to talk about the need to lift weights and deal with threats in your neighborhood.

I’m not going to talk about 12 Ways To Reduce Belly Fat, I’m going to tell you how to get to a healthy weight and get stronger. I’m going to tell you how I am getting stronger, in particular.

In this case, it may be something of a modern warrior lifestyle for citizen warriors, but it’s still a damn lifestyle.

Yet, on the same token, I’m also taking on a bit of a personal development role as well. Frankly, most people aren’t capable of being modern-day warriors. They leave that to the military or the police. They forget that back in the day, everyone was expected to keep their own families safe.

Of course, that leads me to ask this one important question: Who the hell am I to think I can help anyone improve themselves as a person?

Seriously, I look at my life and see every screw-up, every mistake. They’re like neon signs in my life, blinking at me, bidding me to remember them. I still shudder at some of those moments, and some of them aren’t that far in the past either.

The thing is, some people think I have my stuff together. A buddy of mine even said as much to me just the other day.

I was taken aback, of course, but later in the day I had to think about it. I’m making good money doing something I love without even needing to leave the house. I’m supporting my family like this, even. I’m also taking charge of my health and doing my best to lead my family in that direction too, something far too few people are doing.

While I know I don’t have everything figure out, maybe I do have it more together than most people out there. Maybe I do have something to offer.

So what does this mean for By Spear an Axe?

Honestly, probably not much. At worst, I’ll be willing to explore topics that I might have avoided before, but there aren’t all that many of them out there.

No, I don’t think I have all the answers, but I think I might have a few. I think I have something to offer and I like to believe that I’m humble enough to listen to reality. I’m willing to accept being wrong.

And that’s something I think is important.

Going forward, there will be one particular change. I’ll probably be restructuring the categories. They’ve gotten kind of stupid, to be honest, and it’s time to adjust them to face this new understanding.

For what it’s worth, if you’ve been hanging around, I have hopes as to what your reaction to this will be. I’d much prefer a, “Well, duh!” than for you to say, “That’s it. I’m out of here.”

Frankly, if you like what you’ve been reading so far, I doubt you’ll even notice all that much of a shift.

In the meantime, let’s get this show on the road.

If you’ve got suggestions on what you’d like to see more of, hit me up in the comments. I’m always interested in what you want to read and, if I can provide it, I’ll do what I can.

Author: Tom

Tom is a husband, father, novelist, opinion writer, and former Navy Corpsman currently living in Georgia. He's also someone who has lost almost 60 pounds in a safe, sustainable way, so he knows what he's talking about.

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